Wednesday, November 14, 2012

y o u r o w n

Life is a funny thing sometimes. Over the course of one's journey you laugh, smile, cry, frown, and experience both the ups and downs. You will build relationships, watch them rise and more often than one would ever want, watch them fall. You will make friends, build a family, and although some may be lost along the way, the important ones will stick. Goals are adamantly set and achievements will be made while failures will be endured and lessons will be learned from them. Successes and mistakes are a fact of life.

With luck, every person will go through the ebbs and flows of life. Each person has a life to call their own. Whether you think so or not, one's experiences are influenced heavily by the choices that they themselves make. Whether you achieve your goals, whether you succeed or fail, the choices that lead to that result may as well be your own. To have the ability to believe in yourself is a powerful thing. To believe in others, even more so. Be the person that you would be proud of. Be hopeful for who you will become. And if you don't like an aspect of your life, seek a way to change yourself, for the better.

At the end of the day, this is your life. Though what happens in life may not always be under your control, your experiences are yours and yours alone. Both the successes and the mistakes that you make in life, are your own. The times when you laugh uncontrollably, when you smile, when you are happy, they all belong to you and you alone. And so should they be. Blaming your experiences on another person's influence is the easy way out.

The same goes the other way. Because your life is your own doesn't mean that this right extends to others. Doing so, even if you think it may be in the best interest of the other person, is short sighted and selfish. This doesn't mean you have to understand nor does it mean that you have to agree. It means that you accept and that you trust.

You trust them because they live life as you should, on their own accord. You trust them because they are your family or your friend (I hesitate to say this because titles alone mean nothing. A friend is only a friend if it fits the definition of the word. The word itself is nothing but six letters). You trust them because you believe in them, just as they believe in themselves. Imposing or telling another person how they should be living is not only hard work, it is not dissimilar to forgetting that there is another person on the other side of the conversation. Realize that trying to change another person to fit your reality is nothing but living life in denial.

At the end of the day though, everyone has influences in their life. Some good and some that you could and will do without. You learn that there are aspects of your life that you can't control - what is said or done to you by others. But what you can control is how you let those influences impact you. These decisions all mould you into the person you become. Let those influences make you a better person. And when you do that, do it for yourself, not for others.

"To love someone is not to love them despite everything but to love them because of everything"

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